Plaques And Such

In my line of work, the plaque or gift you receive from your work colleagues when you are finishing an assignment is kind of a big deal as everybody has an “I Love Me” wall at their next assignment upon which they place these artifacts to show everyone how cool and high speed you were and are.

For some reason, I’ve always either received shitty plaques or none at all.

In Havana everyone who left got a nice plaque. Because on that poor economy, the craftsmanship was extraordinary and extremely inexpensive. And I was the guy in charge of getting everyone a parting gift. And everyone was always very happy when they got it. And it was ALWAYS understood that I had inherited this task from my predecessor, and when I left someone else would need to pick up the slack.

But do you think I got a plaque or a nice parting gift to remember my two years and ten days (not that I was counting) in that Communist paradise? No.

My office took me out to lunch my final workday and my boss literally told me, “Uh, sorry we didn’t get you a plaque, Jay Bobb. I’ll have it sent to you once it’s done.”

Still waiting for it twelve years later, Ted…

When I left the Army, I was really looking forward to the plaque I’d get so I could display it in my future office to show everyone how I’d once been a badass American paratrooper.

Instead they gave me this.

There was no way in Hell I could ever hang this up in any office.

Years later, I fucking bought my own.