Jacksonville, Florida (2018)

I felt like I needed a challenge, so I signed up for the Gate River Run 15k (9 Miles) through downtown Jacksonville.

I weighed 250 at the time and trained up to about 7-8 miles and felt I would be fine.

However, it was pretty hot that day, I started off way too fast, and there were some unexpected hills during the race, including the final run up the bridge at the end.

I’d NEVER fallen out of a run or quit or even walked on a run, but I walked the uphill on a good portion of that goddamn bridge.

In prior runs, I was used to finishing in the top 75%, including in my age group. But in this one I don’t think I even made it into the top 50%.

It was a very disappointing performance

I was 47 and felt I was slowing down, so I decided to challenge myself and try to redeem that sorry performance.

I scoured all the East Coast races and found a 10 Miler in Lynchburg in September.

I trained really hard for it, only to realize 50% of the course was steep hills.

That changed my training, but I went after it and incorporated the only elevation in this area – the Sidney Lanier Bridge.

On some 5-8 miles runs, I’d run up and down it four times.

In the course of overtraining for it, however, I think I injured myself in a way that would only manifest itself towards the end of the actual race itself.

Long story short, when I ran the race, I was in some of the best shape of my life. Superficially at least. I weighed 236 and felt really good about my running. When the gun went off, I resisted the urge to take off with the pack. Instead, I made sure to pace myself and really dug into the hills.

I could tell a lot of people hadn’t trained for hills and they began walking them immediately. I cruised right past them.

On the final hill I knew I had injured something but I was so close that I just pushed myself across the finish line.

When I tried to take that next step, however, I was in excruciating pain.

I limped back to the car, then into the hotel room, and could barely stand the next morning.

After several months of cortisone injections, x-rays, and finally an MRI, I discovered I’d mangled the labrum in my left hip training for the run and during the actual run itself.

I’d eventually have to get surgery, and though originally thought to be successful, six months later I can still feel it.

For someone who ran regularly five days per week, I haven’t run more than a dozen times since that race in Lynchburg.

I hate running, but I wish my hip socket would heal.

Still Valid

From “The Daily Stoic”:

“So much happens in life. There is so much happening. Forget macro events—there are dogs that get sick in the middle of the night. There are trips that need to be made to the store. There are unpleasant conversations to have. Bills that somebody has to pay. Dishes to be done. Hard decisions to make.

Most people’s reaction—especially when those macro events are stressing them out on top of everything—is to shirk. It’s to see if someone else can handle all that for them. It’s to try to get out of whatever can be got out of. It’s to resent even the idea of an obligation.

But the Stoic? A Stoic politely sings to themselves those lyrics from one of the greatest songs of all time:

And you put the load right on me
You put the load right on me

Remember, in a crisis—a pandemic just like this one—Marcus Aurelius stepped up. In fact, the famous story about Marcus Aurelius is that he didn’t want to be emperor at all. He wasn’t sure he could do it. But the night he was informed of the news, he had a dream. In that dream he had shoulders made of ivory. It was a sign: He could do it. His shoulders could bear the weight. Put the load right on me, he said to himself. And he bore it for the rest of his life.

Things are hard right now. They’re scary. They’re not your fault. But they are your responsibility. They are yours to step up and carry. Because you have the shoulders that can bear the weight.“