Paratrooping

Omaha, Nebraska (1980)

I always thought this picture was taken at my Grandma’s house in Kansas but it’s clearly our old furniture in the background and at that age the only place it could be was at the house we lived in for less than two years west of Omaha before we moved again to Pennsylvania.

Tongue-in-cheek I like to say this picture is emblematic of my childhood. Big Brother #1 is standing back controlling the action. Little Brother is about to attack at his command.

Although I always generally got along well with Little Brother, it was usually a team up of the two of them against me.

Big Brother is wearing a Dallas Cowboys helmet. They were his favorite team growing up until he suddenly and inexplicably switched allegiances to the Seattle Seahawks the moment they started getting good.

One more reason why I lost respect for him.

Little Brother is wearing a Detroit Lions helmet. They have been his favorite team ever since and he has stuck with them through thick and thin, despite their pathetic record and hideously inept play on the gridiron.

One more reason why I have respect for him.

And who was my favorite team? The Oakland Raiders ever since I saw them defeat Fran Tarkenton’s Minnesota Vikings in the Super Bowl in 1977 and thought they had fantastic helmets.

I had just turned six.

And what helmet am I wearing?

That of their despised rivals – the Denver Broncos.

Who the FUCK thought that was a good idea?

Hamm’s

My first sip of suds was from one of these sweet bastards. It’s been all downhill from there.