“THIS is THIS”

From FB:

“While in college, I had a part-time job in the Inter-Library Loan (ILL) section of Virginia Tech’s school library. Every afternoon, I’d show up between classes and box up books to be sent to other libraries within the ILL system.

It paid minimum wage, but I liked it as I was surrounded by books and the full-time crew were two ball-busting Virginia mountain rednecks who had no time for fancy college boys like me.

During the course of my work, I discovered the most amazing magazines and journals dedicated to esoteric and niche subjects. Among the ones I gravitated towards were those that dealt with film criticism.

Although everybody and his monkey today has a blog or webpage critiquing cinema, comics, or literature, in the pre-Internet days of 1991, these periodicals were the only place where you could find this type of high-minded deconstruction of themes, structure, cinematography, homages, and literary references.

I became so enamored of these magazines that I would read them whenever I could, and then find ways to slip their ideas into courses I was taking like “Literature And The Bible” and “Film And Literature.”

(Did you know I almost majored in English Lit? Well, now you do.)

At some point, I did a deep dive on Michael Cimino’s “The Deer Hunter,” in all likelihood because it was so controversial when it came out in 1978, but also because I devoured anything to do with the Vietnam War as it was the conflict closest to me when I was very young.

I remember writing a paper about it based on what I’d read in the cinema critique magazines and those thoughts and ideas recently clawed their way back into my consciousness – probably because there’s been a story floating these last two days about how at age 79, Robert DeNiro is expecting his seventh child.

DeNiro is pretty much a washed-up joke at this point in his life and career and really only makes headlines when he does a bad Donald Trump impression or drops an F bomb about him on TV.

But back when I was growing up, DeNiro was a force of nature.

Between “Taxi Driver,” “Raging Bull,” “Goodfellas,” and “Cape Fear,” there is no other actor I can think of who put on such a dynamic and unrelenting body of work as he did. The only one who comes close these days is Joaquin Phoenix, but there is nothing scary about him. In contrast, every character DeNiro played in the 70s and 80s was someone you would not want to meet in a dark alley.

So, I was minding my own business today and the phrase, “You see THIS? THIS is THIS!” came into my head.

If you’ve never seen “The Deer Hunter” before, it comes from a scene in which DeNiro’s deadly serious Michael (the eponymous “Deer Hunter”) is being mocked by the feckless and incompetent Stanley (the late great John Cazale) over his refusal to allow him to borrow a pair of boots after Stan irresponsibly forgot his own.

At one point as they argue, DeNiro’s character holds up a rifle round and shakes it at Stan, asking “Stanley, you see THIS? THIS is THIS? This ain’t something else. THIS is THIS. From now on, you’re on your own.”

After accusing the laconic Michael of being a homosexual, Stan asks, “You know what your trouble is, Mike? Nobody knows what the fuck you’re talking about!” He then derisively impersonates DeNiro with mock bluster, adding, “‘THIS is THIS’! What the Hell’s that supposed to mean?!” ‘THIS is THIS’! Is that some faggot sounding bullshit or is that some faggot sounding bullshit?”

The phrase “THIS is THIS” has always stuck in my head. And I’m sure if you asked certain Gen Xers what that phrase meant, about 10% would be able to correctly associate it with “The Deer Hunter.”

By itself, the phrase sounds incredibly stupid. In my mind, it’s almost hilarious to think that there was once an Academy Award-winning movie in which somebody included the phrase “THIS is THIS” in the script.

But I think the reason it resonates with me to this day is because it actually means something:

In the context of the story and from the perspective of DeNiro’s character, “THIS is THIS” means one bullet – one shot.

One bullet to shoot a deer. No more. No less.

Not two bullets.

One.

“THIS is THIS” is a declaration of Michael’s code of honor. It means that he has prepared himself and made himself so proficient with the rifle that he needs but one bullet to painlessly kill a deer. It means that when he takes a life, the deer does not suffer any more than it has to.

But it is more than that.

“THIS is THIS” is also about striving for something greater. It is about holding oneself to as high of a standard and humanly possible, and refusing to accept anything less.

So, when Stan forgets to bring the proper boots or equipment to go on a deer hunt and seems so cavalier about his lack of preparation, it infuriates Michael. It shows that Stanley has no code and does not aspire to be better than he is.

“THIS is THIS” means you have one shot. And when your time comes, you’d better make it. Because a failure to put forth the effort necessary to make that shot and spare the deer suffering means you are not a serious person. You are someone who lives without a code.

We live in strange times. Too many people today live without a code.

Yet, the old ways still work. We must simply have the intestinal fortitude to challenge ourselves enough to apply them.